That's some security...
Jun. 7th, 2013 06:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muck_a_luckSo. This guy, he's got a TIAA/CREF account that we're trying to divide in a divorce.
His lawyer can't get information out of TIAA/CREF about the plan administrator (this is needed to get the asset divided). She spent "upwards of an hour" trying to find this out. A quarter million dollar asset, and she spent "upwards of an hour," but she couldn't find anything out!
So this guy, he goes to TIAA/CREF at some physical location. He tries to talk to someone there to access his account. He has photo ID with him. However, they kept refusing to answer any questions about his account, because he couldn't remember some password he created. He left in defeat.
Boss thinks, hey, they've lost the asset, and puts me on the trail on an urgent basis. In one phone call, I established that TIAA/CREF has this weird "oral password." If you don't know it, you can show up in person, with three forms of ID, your mother swearing on a stack of bibles, and a DNA sample, and it doesn't matter. If you don't have the oral password, YOUR ACCOUNT IS SECURE!!! YOU CANNOT LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!
And here's the part I love...
YOU MUST GO HOME AND WRITE A LETTER AND MAIL IT REQUESTING THAT THE PASSWORD BE REMOVED!!!!
SUPER SECURITY!!!
*eyes TIAA/CREF*
So, you can't take your photo ID and do this password removal procedure in person at a TIAA/CREF office. Impressive.
And meanwhile, in lawyer land...
I think lawyers sometimes forget how to lawyer. I, the paralegal, raised my hand and said, "Um. Did she do a subpoena?" I whipped one up in about 10 minutes, it was out via fax to TIAA/CREF within the hour. We should have all the documents inside of 3 weeks.
This is what the lawyers pay us for. I know the secret of this guy's account security and plus we don't need the guy to cooperate anymore, and I spent "upwards of 20 minutes" to find those things out. I guess when you include the subpoena and discussion with Boss, I did, in the end, spend "upwards of an hour" on the problem.
His lawyer can't get information out of TIAA/CREF about the plan administrator (this is needed to get the asset divided). She spent "upwards of an hour" trying to find this out. A quarter million dollar asset, and she spent "upwards of an hour," but she couldn't find anything out!
So this guy, he goes to TIAA/CREF at some physical location. He tries to talk to someone there to access his account. He has photo ID with him. However, they kept refusing to answer any questions about his account, because he couldn't remember some password he created. He left in defeat.
Boss thinks, hey, they've lost the asset, and puts me on the trail on an urgent basis. In one phone call, I established that TIAA/CREF has this weird "oral password." If you don't know it, you can show up in person, with three forms of ID, your mother swearing on a stack of bibles, and a DNA sample, and it doesn't matter. If you don't have the oral password, YOUR ACCOUNT IS SECURE!!! YOU CANNOT LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!
And here's the part I love...
YOU MUST GO HOME AND WRITE A LETTER AND MAIL IT REQUESTING THAT THE PASSWORD BE REMOVED!!!!
SUPER SECURITY!!!
*eyes TIAA/CREF*
So, you can't take your photo ID and do this password removal procedure in person at a TIAA/CREF office. Impressive.
And meanwhile, in lawyer land...
I think lawyers sometimes forget how to lawyer. I, the paralegal, raised my hand and said, "Um. Did she do a subpoena?" I whipped one up in about 10 minutes, it was out via fax to TIAA/CREF within the hour. We should have all the documents inside of 3 weeks.
This is what the lawyers pay us for. I know the secret of this guy's account security and plus we don't need the guy to cooperate anymore, and I spent "upwards of 20 minutes" to find those things out. I guess when you include the subpoena and discussion with Boss, I did, in the end, spend "upwards of an hour" on the problem.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 01:30 pm (UTC)No, a superpower would be getting this guy to write the damned letter, get his account security fixed, and get the documents to HIS attorney (the one who technically needs them), probably in half the time. But that is a task for opposing counsel's paralegal, not me.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-07 11:27 pm (UTC)Also, that password process is RIDICULOUS!