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muck_a_luckI've seen a couple of versions of this joke, and in some ways I find it incredibly objectionable. It is misogynistic, because it homogenizes and objectifies women. Also, it has us slotted in as useless at age 41, which is ageist, misogyinist, and also suggests that the person who wrote it is blind as a bat, since healthy adults usually remain plenty sexually attractive well into their forties or even their fifties. Think of all the well aged men you know, and the almost disturbingly sexy older women.
All that said, this stupid thing has stuck with me, in a way that internet jokes usually do not. I feel very much like India these days. And I hope to make the India and France stages last right up to age 60 or so, followed by a short England stage, carrying me through to an early Tibet. *snickers*
(I would like to note that the version I originally saw DID NOT include the ages of man, which kind of equalizes the joke and makes it less bad. *smirks* However, I should also note I am posting the sanitized version I originally saw, not the EVEN WORSE version I found on askmen.com. Cretins.)
So, posting it here, for your amusement or annoyance.
The Ages Of Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, loss some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .. Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.
The Geography Of A Man:
Between the ages of 15 to 70, a man is like Germany. A strange landscape but filled with beer and thoughts of dodgy porno movies.
(Another variant: Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick!)
(Another variant: Between 15 and 70 a man is like America - ruled by a dick!)
All that said, this stupid thing has stuck with me, in a way that internet jokes usually do not. I feel very much like India these days. And I hope to make the India and France stages last right up to age 60 or so, followed by a short England stage, carrying me through to an early Tibet. *snickers*
(I would like to note that the version I originally saw DID NOT include the ages of man, which kind of equalizes the joke and makes it less bad. *smirks* However, I should also note I am posting the sanitized version I originally saw, not the EVEN WORSE version I found on askmen.com. Cretins.)
So, posting it here, for your amusement or annoyance.
The Ages Of Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile soil.
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like America, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France, gently aging; but still warm and a desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Yugoslavia, loss some wars, won some great battles but haunted by past mistakes, still very strong and proud.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Russia, very wide and borders are now largely un-patrolled.
After 70, she becomes Tibet .. Off the beaten path, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…still desirable but only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge and true love dare visit there.
The Geography Of A Man:
Between the ages of 15 to 70, a man is like Germany. A strange landscape but filled with beer and thoughts of dodgy porno movies.
(Another variant: Between 15 and 70 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a dick!)
(Another variant: Between 15 and 70 a man is like America - ruled by a dick!)
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Date: 2007-07-21 05:03 am (UTC)I think the implication that all women between 23 and 30 are whores is really special. If I ever decide to shuffle off this mortal coil I'll say that to Best Beloved and be dead before I hit the floor.
And maybe it's just me, but I would be pretty offended to be compared to France, but that has more to do with the French people I've met than anything else.
I -am- rather disturbed that you used any of the smilies to describe yourself.
Go to your room, close the door and recite "I was smart and clever and hot when I was twenty, and I'm smart and witty and hot now, and I'll be smart and clever and witty and hot twenty years from now" a thousand times.
'Cause you know, I"m sure you will be. Smart is sexy.
ICK. ICKY ICK ICK.
Date: 2007-07-22 02:01 am (UTC)You ever notice how metaphors that equate women to land (or land to women) also tend to have some element of conquest of said land (or woman)?
I find the whole land metaphor itself creepy, given it's history and connotations.
If the land metaphor is creepy, this er, "joke" is equivalent a feminist version of Psycho or something to me.
It doesn't really honor women, as you pointed out, but reduces women to their degrees of "sexual usefulness to a man" based on their age. Because yes, a woman's sexuality is something that is completely based on a man's perspective relative to her age.
Thinking through this more and more just gets me more angry. I am so tired of seeing women's sexuality reduced to fodder for titillating men. Like all that matters is how men view women and their sexual usefulness to their dick. (Not saying all men. Just saying the general cultural perception.)
Serioulsy. Fuck you not, straight dudes (and anyone, for that matter), if you're going to keep having these kinds of attitudes.