Moody

[muck_a_luck]

I think my job is making me depressed. I blamed SAD earlier this year. And I blamed hormones a couple of times. But I should be in a good place in the hormonal cycle right now, there's plenty of sun, and I am stressed, depressed, anxious, and I feel like it is all work-related.

Worst clients ever this week. I really, really want to vent here, but I am worried about client priviledge issues and I am being totally paranoid because these are the kinds of clients I can just imagine deciding to take up some kind of action against us even though there is no basis for one.

It's no wonder lawyers get depressed. I'm not even the lawyer in these matters and it makes me mentally ill.

Comments

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I'd be surprised if you weren't depressed. You've been expending energy on a new baby, an older child, producing milk, keeping up home and marriage, family/friends/LJ, the commute and a full work schedule -- and you are only just now getting something resembling uninterrupted sleep. Add in the fact that work attracts some horrid tools as clients, and CK needs a vacation! *snugs*

[muck-a-luck.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, there are a lot of places for my energy to go these days. But I'm not just tired. I'm anxious. That's a work thing, for sure. But doing my best to let it go this weekend, get some good rest, and jump back in on Monday raring to go. It won't get better unless I do that. Just gotta chip away at it one thing at a time.

And I totally need a vacation. I am hoping that if I am really good and can get my desk into good shape, I can take a selfish day at the end of the month. *knuckles down*

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

I can take a selfish day at the end of the month.

Uh, uh. Not selfish -- self-centered, as in doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. And it's fine for you to do that -- mandatory, even. Because it's your call to make sure you're getting the physical and mental health breaks needed to let go of the stresses and recharge.

*sends you relax-y thoughts*

[muck-a-luck.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! And I saw Bounty tonight and saw Daniel turn down the hot chick. I don't buy your married guy thing at all. :p She was creepy! All mouth breathing and doe eyed moistlickylips and about to hump his leg right there in the library. Not to mention that it was probably a little much for canon Daniel, who apparently gets very little action now that Jack's come to DC.

Do not tell me. However, my brain has been in overdrive trying to figure out what will need bleaching from the final episode. Not to resurrect bad memories, or anything.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

I don't buy your married guy thing at all. I don't remember now. Did I say he turned her down because he's married to Jack? IT'S SO TRUE! But the long-distance marriages are tough. *sighs for J and D* *pets them*

But, yeah. The bounty hunter was acting skeevy and over-obvious and very out of place. Now if she really had been able to strike up a conversation on Aramaic translations of pre-Judeo pagan hymns, she might have had a shot... ;-)

Even spoiler-free, the people I know who watched the last episode knowing that there were things that upset viewers fared better than those of us who watched it knowing nothing. I spent so much time flailing in shock and going "oh hell no!" and trying to recover some equilibrium, that my inner dialogue overrode bits that were good or fun. If you can say to yourself, "Okay, that must be one of the bad things," and just set it aside in a mental box until the end of the show, you'll probably enjoy the rest of it more.

[muck-a-luck.livejournal.com]

And also very sour grapey because every time I want to write anything I have to feel guilty because there is something much more important that I really should be doing. Every act of writing these days is a theft of time in some way. I hate that very very much. It's my hobby. I enjoy it. Maybe it's kind of a stupid hobby, but so are most hobbies people indulge in. In many ways, my hobby is better. It costs only teh price of the internet connection, which we would have anyway. Uses the computer, which we have anyway.

[green-grrl.livejournal.com]

1) It's a hobby and it's your way of unwinding from work. Which you need to do -- so it's restorative until you can get that longer break -- very necessary.

2) What is "much more important"? Your work and home schedules are extremely stressful right now. If the kids have been picked up from school/daycare and fed, and the roof isn't leaking, and the electricity isn't getting cut off because you forgot the bill, well there's not too much more that's crucial. Until you can a) catch up on your sleep, and b) ease up at work, the other "important" stuff can go to the back of the line, because your health is not worth the "shoulds".

*more snugs*

[alpha-strike.livejournal.com]

I started to put together a care package that would cheer you up, but I realized that it would violate a gazillion state and federal laws. *shrug* Where do I send it?

I've read you for a couple years now, and you have seemed stressed. As green_grrl points out, you have good reason to be. If you've taken a "you" day since Little Sister's last trimester, I haven't heard about it. I know you want to be SuperMom and WonderWife and TheGoodEmployee, and that your need to be perfect has always been one of the major motivating forces in your life. It's served you well, for the most part, and driven you to excel at pretty much everything you do. The real trick is not to let that need destroy you.

Your clients suck. Perhaps this batch is a little worse than the norm, but with only a few notable exceptions, most of your clients are thoroughly nasty people doing thoroughly nasty things to other people who very likely deserve it. None of what they're doing has anything to do with you. If you want to vent, begin every rant with "Once upon a time, in the Kingdom of Scum, an Evil [insert as appropriate]. Be sure to pick a good fairy-tale ending, such as "Was made to dance in red-hot iron shoes until she died." (that was always one of my favorites!)You can say lots of libelous things about the Evil Stepmother and the Fair Maiden and the Foolish King and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do, so long as you remember to speak in generalities. And be discrete.

There's plenty of sun and plenty of good things around you, but you feel that you can't enjoy them because you have so many other things to do. There is a time to say "screw it, I'm taking care of me, and god help anyone who interferes". It's that time. Give yourself a break. You'll feel better, really you will.

PS: The cashew-butter oatmeal cookies are good. Eat them at once. And whatever you do with the pistol, I don't want to know about.