Working late
Oct. 30th, 2006 10:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muck_a_luckWhy do people try to direct their survivors not to grieve?
I mean, on the one hand, I suspect that it is intended as a gesture of kindess. Oh, don't cry, don't be sad, I've gone to a better place, I want you to be happy, blah, blah. But as a person who deals with the death of loved ones with lots of tears and sadness, I find it very difficult to even imagine what it would be like to smile in the face of a serious loss. I still occassionaly dream about my grandparents. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a parent or a sibling or the Husband or God forbid a child. Ordering me to be happy will not change the way I feel. Even if you are the one who says it. So don't say stupid insensitive things that will make the sad person feel like they are doing something wrong by feeling sad.
If you were important to these people, don't belittle your relationship to them by telling them not to grieve.
You can only take the funeral as a celebration of life idea so far. You know?
Or maybe you don't. Maybe it's just me.
I mean, on the one hand, I suspect that it is intended as a gesture of kindess. Oh, don't cry, don't be sad, I've gone to a better place, I want you to be happy, blah, blah. But as a person who deals with the death of loved ones with lots of tears and sadness, I find it very difficult to even imagine what it would be like to smile in the face of a serious loss. I still occassionaly dream about my grandparents. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a parent or a sibling or the Husband or God forbid a child. Ordering me to be happy will not change the way I feel. Even if you are the one who says it. So don't say stupid insensitive things that will make the sad person feel like they are doing something wrong by feeling sad.
If you were important to these people, don't belittle your relationship to them by telling them not to grieve.
You can only take the funeral as a celebration of life idea so far. You know?
Or maybe you don't. Maybe it's just me.
