muck_a_luck

My First Trip to Court
by CK

Yesterday was my first trip ever to the courtroom.

In all my work for lawyers, the only hearing I've ever been to was an asylum hearing at the INS. Man. That was brutal.

Traffic court, on the other hand, was a whole different kettle of fish. Thirty seconds to three minutes per matter, I'd guess.

I got my first ticket ever at the beginning of January. In 16 or so years of driving, we all do many stupid things. We speed. We accidently run stopsigns. I'm sure everyone has run a readlight - what an adrenaline rush *that* is. Gone right on red when you weren't supposed to. Done some reckless lane changing. I suspect that even the best driver out there in LJ land deserves a traffic ticket at least once a year for something stupid they do. We just don't get caught.

Well. I got caught. For a missed state safety inspection. *facepalm* Please refer to this post for the sad little story.

The cop and the Boss both encouraged me to go to Court. According to the Boss, judges "routinely" dismiss these cases when the car passes inspection immediately after you get the ticket. Plus, I had never been to Court and there were a few useful things I could do down at the Courthouse.

So I got up, put on my interview suit (which now fits like a dream, by the way. I was just a svelte example of paralegal hotness in low heels...), and trucked it down to historic Fairfax for my day in Court.

All was going smoothly, until I realized that Boss had not advised me on an important point.

Um. Did not know if I was supposed to plead guilty with an explanation or not-guilty.

The bailiff had told everyone before Court started that if our cellphones rang or beepers went off, or if we used our phones in the courtroom, the phones would be confiscated until the end of the docket. The very end. The "I'm locking the doors at the end of the morning" end.

So I went out into the foyer to call the Boss about which to do. But I was whispering "bye" into the phone and pushing end as I slipped back into the Courtroom. And there was the bailiff, with her hand out. She hissed, quite livid, "We do not talk in Court. And we certainly do not talk on our phones in Court."

Oops. *facepalm*

So, I plead not-guilty. Then wait til the "trials" part of the docket.

I am highly amused by some of the people who showed up. Like I said, *I* would have just prepaid the fine, if it weren't for the advice of the officer and my legal advisor.

One guy said he was speeding because there were two dogs in his car causing a dangerous situation and he was trying to get them under control. I think just out of idle curiousity the judge asked, "How big were these dogs?"

The guy said, "I think one was a hound and the other one was a chihuahua."

The whole courtroom giggled.

Another guy said he was speeding because he was late for work and his friend was distracting him.

Needless to say, neither got their fines reduced.

Well, I had my little "trial" of three minutes. The officer was kind enough to tell my lame story for me. The judge suspended the fine for my offense, but required me to pay Court costs anyway.

Well, then I had to wait for my phone, so I puttered around the Courthouse doing chores for the office. Then I paid my fees. Then I slipped back into the courtroom to listen to the rest of the docket. The bailiff saw me come in and came back with my phone. She laughed at me then and said, "You understand, now, that we don't talk in Court." I Thanked her for my phone and said, "I'm sorry. I was an idiot."

Which pretty much summarizes traffic court, I think. A big group of people showing up to say, "I was an idiot."

I thought you would be amused to know what I *did not* do. I *did not* print out several chapters of The Archer and mix them up in my folder of documents that I was going to hand up to the judge.

Though CJ suggested he might have let me off if I had.