Navel gazing

[muck_a_luck]

Last month was a long dark nightmare. I think we can now all agree that CK and January do not mix.

I have always found January to be a blech month for me. But I would not be surprised to learn that last month I was clinically depressed. I kept thinking it felt like hormones, but it just went on and on.

I cried at least three different days in the office, and more at home.

Small little things in life that are usually water off a duck's back became crises that could only be resolved by the most drastic possible means.

I hardly posted any of it, because I know myself well enough to know that it didn't feel real, and I didn't want to put that stuff even semi-permanently into the ether. It woudln't have been fair to anyone.

But I swear, January 31 had me feeling better, and I am again my usual scarily positive, calm, efficient self again as of this week.

So, we are all going to remember this next January and no one is going to let me do anything stupid during those 31 days, up to and including leaving my husband, leaving my job, deciding whether or not to have another child, or even changing my hair. You are all going to strap me down if you have to and tell me that any decision I want to make in January has to wait until February 10. Just to be safe.

Also, I think I am going to look into treatments for seasonal affective disorder. Figure out how to set up the light therapy at the office or something. Because I never want to be in that dark place ever again.

Comments

[andien.livejournal.com]

So glad you're feeling better - go to LUSH and buy the "Happy for SAD" shower gel for a start , it sometimes helps.