Total burnout
Mar. 29th, 2007 10:17 pmI am so burned out on people needing me and doing stuff for others and I haven't even started my working for Boss at home time yet. You know it is total tactile and emotional burnout when the cat tries to get in your lap and you just want to fling the furbag across the room and scream at it.
Poor kitty.
Better not take that stress test right now.
Working forty hour weeks had me down to something like sanity. I have ratcheted back up to almost where I was at the end of February, with that day and a half accidental vacation from work. I just want to cry right now. I'm never going to be able to return to having a life, am I? If I want to keep sane I have to be Mommy and Good Employee and everything that is just me, for my selfish enjoyment and pleasure, is gone.
I know relief is coming, sorta. I'll gain back about an hour a day when I stop needing to maintain a bottle supply. But I'll be turning that hour right back around into exercise, which in a way will be gaining something, but it's not like I don't value the bottles - they mean my baby is healthier and I'm not wasting money on formula. The bottles have value, as will exercise, but that still means I will have no fucking time for anything that's just fun and frivolous.
It's so depressing.
Poor kitty.
Better not take that stress test right now.
Working forty hour weeks had me down to something like sanity. I have ratcheted back up to almost where I was at the end of February, with that day and a half accidental vacation from work. I just want to cry right now. I'm never going to be able to return to having a life, am I? If I want to keep sane I have to be Mommy and Good Employee and everything that is just me, for my selfish enjoyment and pleasure, is gone.
I know relief is coming, sorta. I'll gain back about an hour a day when I stop needing to maintain a bottle supply. But I'll be turning that hour right back around into exercise, which in a way will be gaining something, but it's not like I don't value the bottles - they mean my baby is healthier and I'm not wasting money on formula. The bottles have value, as will exercise, but that still means I will have no fucking time for anything that's just fun and frivolous.
It's so depressing.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-30 02:31 am (UTC)You're such a tough person and tough mommy. I would've gone coo-coo bananas a long time back. There's every reason for you to feel this way. I'm sorry it's been hard for you. It sucks when you don't have that time for yourself, because we all really need that sometimes, and don't notice it until you *don't* have it, usually.
*more hugs*
*decaf tea and cookies*
*foot rubs*
no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-02 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-30 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 12:01 am (UTC)Unless you're rolling Mommy work in with work work. In which case, that's the price you pay for offspring... *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2007-03-30 05:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 12:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-31 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 12:02 am (UTC)