From Everything I Know about Pirates
Mar. 11th, 2004 08:05 pmFrom Everything I Know About Pirates, by Tom Lichtenheld:
"Meanwhile, some of the pirates are climbing up the jungle gyms like one-eyed monkeys and yelling nasty, mean stuff like, "Avast, ye vermin!" and, "Swab the deck yourself, Larry!"
"Sometimes, when there weren't too many hungry sharks around, pirates would use the plank to practice their fancy diving tricks...but this has become a rarity due to the high cost of liability insurance." (Posted over my desk. Lawyer humor...)
"Pirates will often carry their knives in their mouths, although the practice is frowned upon by the American Dental Association."
"The only thing crabbier than pirates is crabs." (with picture of crabs, taped to the top of my monitor, with pirates scratched out and replaced with CK)
"Meanwhile, some of the pirates are climbing up the jungle gyms like one-eyed monkeys and yelling nasty, mean stuff like, "Avast, ye vermin!" and, "Swab the deck yourself, Larry!"
"Sometimes, when there weren't too many hungry sharks around, pirates would use the plank to practice their fancy diving tricks...but this has become a rarity due to the high cost of liability insurance." (Posted over my desk. Lawyer humor...)
"Pirates will often carry their knives in their mouths, although the practice is frowned upon by the American Dental Association."
"The only thing crabbier than pirates is crabs." (with picture of crabs, taped to the top of my monitor, with pirates scratched out and replaced with CK)