Stupid evolution
Feb. 27th, 2006 10:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muck_a_luckI am kinda getting tired of being pregnant. And I still have two and one half months to go.
Let's see.
I'm not having a particularly difficult pregnancy. And I am middle class American in a white collar job, so not much heavy manual labor in my daily life.
But I had four months of nausea, wild mood swings, exhaustaion and general ick at the beginning.
And it has been followed up by total pregnancy brain that is making me feel some sympathy with elderly people just feeling the first effects of senility and short-term memory problems.
AND I am hitting the whale-like stage. I can't go up stairs at the end of the day without totally wiping myself out. I plan very carefully about changing floors after I come home from work. Standing up too long is very, very uncomfortable, and I've goten to the point that getting into and out of chairs is a major production, and some chairs fold me up too much so that when I stand up, everything has to unkink.
And this is not to mention that I can't bend at the waist anymore and that it is very difficult to tie my shoes.
Hmmmm.
Did I whine enough?
Anyway, this is all to say two things. One - evolution is some powerful shit to create creatures that would endure a physical process like this just to get a baby that will poop, eat and cry and generally attempt to maim and kill itself for the first two years after it is born.
And two - evolution probably favors a certain focused type of female stupidity. This is an EASY pregnancy. Imagine a difficult one that included labor with no painkillers. Why oh WHY would any woman in her right mind let a penis near her again, after doing this? or even witnessing someone going through this?
Logically, women should ban together into militaristic self-defense groups, and be on the cutting edge of desiging military technologies, from pointy sticks to repeating rifles to nuclear weapons, to keep men the HELL away from them.
But clearly, women in their right minds select themselves out of the gene pool by not reproducing, so you end up with women like me, in general as intelligent as (or possibly more intelligent than) the smartest guy around, with slective idiocy genetically ingrained into our ovulation cycles who think, for a couple of key days a month, that a baby is worth the misery.
Chicas. If you are thinking that tonight unprotected sex isn't such a bad idea, it's your two days a month. Run to the bathroom, lock yourself in, and refuse to come out until he has left the building...
Let's see.
I'm not having a particularly difficult pregnancy. And I am middle class American in a white collar job, so not much heavy manual labor in my daily life.
But I had four months of nausea, wild mood swings, exhaustaion and general ick at the beginning.
And it has been followed up by total pregnancy brain that is making me feel some sympathy with elderly people just feeling the first effects of senility and short-term memory problems.
AND I am hitting the whale-like stage. I can't go up stairs at the end of the day without totally wiping myself out. I plan very carefully about changing floors after I come home from work. Standing up too long is very, very uncomfortable, and I've goten to the point that getting into and out of chairs is a major production, and some chairs fold me up too much so that when I stand up, everything has to unkink.
And this is not to mention that I can't bend at the waist anymore and that it is very difficult to tie my shoes.
Hmmmm.
Did I whine enough?
Anyway, this is all to say two things. One - evolution is some powerful shit to create creatures that would endure a physical process like this just to get a baby that will poop, eat and cry and generally attempt to maim and kill itself for the first two years after it is born.
And two - evolution probably favors a certain focused type of female stupidity. This is an EASY pregnancy. Imagine a difficult one that included labor with no painkillers. Why oh WHY would any woman in her right mind let a penis near her again, after doing this? or even witnessing someone going through this?
Logically, women should ban together into militaristic self-defense groups, and be on the cutting edge of desiging military technologies, from pointy sticks to repeating rifles to nuclear weapons, to keep men the HELL away from them.
But clearly, women in their right minds select themselves out of the gene pool by not reproducing, so you end up with women like me, in general as intelligent as (or possibly more intelligent than) the smartest guy around, with slective idiocy genetically ingrained into our ovulation cycles who think, for a couple of key days a month, that a baby is worth the misery.
Chicas. If you are thinking that tonight unprotected sex isn't such a bad idea, it's your two days a month. Run to the bathroom, lock yourself in, and refuse to come out until he has left the building...
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no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 04:19 am (UTC)Logically, women should ban together into militaristic self-defense groups, and be on the cutting edge of desiging military technologies, from pointy sticks to repeating rifles to nuclear weapons, to keep men the HELL away from them.
Now there's an mpreg plot bunny... ;-)
no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 05:14 am (UTC)If I ever decide to have children, I'm totally adopting.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 11:29 am (UTC)My youngest was a planned C-section (because of the first time which ended in a c-section a one week stay in the maternity ward and not being allowed to go back to work for over a month.) but he came early, silly boy.
Last year I had my tubes tied. It was my birthday present to myself.
no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 04:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-02-28 05:03 pm (UTC)